The worst ballet movie ever

A week or so ago I stumbled upon a ballet-themed movie from 1977 called "Suspiria". The summary sounded interesting:

This horror gem follows Susan, a young American girl whose talents have brought her to an illustrious European ballet school. But once she gets there, she realizes there's something strange going on as she's faced with a cluster of freaky happenings, from a shower of maggots to poison in her food. What she soon learns is that the school has been a meeting place for witches for many years.

It was available from DVD.com (the DVD-subscription part of Netflix). Although DVD.com rated it only 2.5 stars (of a possible 5), IMDB gave it 7.4 stars (of 10). Although I'm not a fan of horror movies I love a good mystery, so put it at the front of my queue. This evening I got a chance to watch it.

OMG, this movie is bad. I mean seriously bad. The soundtrack is horrible, often overwhelming the dialogue. The dialogue is terrible and the plot is worse. People die gruesomely in ways that are physically impossible. Maggots drop from the ceiling, supposedly because food had gone bad, but who stores food in the attic? A character climbs through a window and falls into a room full of... coils of wire? There's even a scene where a bat flies in through a window and attacks a character.

And then there are technical stupidities. The blind pianist uses a walking cane (not a blind person's cane) to get around, and uses it clumsily to go up the stairs rather than holding the handrail. There is a scene where the central character, supposedly a gifted dancer, is seen standing in pointe shoes; with no exaggeration I can say that I do better in pointe shoes and that's just as bad as it sounds. There are one or two brief scenes with some actual dancers as extras, but by brief I mean scenes measured in seconds, not minutes.

The only redeeming feature is that the female lead is smart and resourceful, unlike most horror movies women who just stand still and scream. The actress, Jessica Harper, has gone on to have a decent career. She apparently didn't learn her lesson with this one, though, as she has a role in a 2018 remake of the same name. It scores only 6.8 of 10 stars in IMDB so I can't imagine it's any better.

If you're looking for a movie for a "bad movie night", or if you love really bad horror movies, this would be an option. But don't get it for the dancing, or for its relevance to ballet. Or for any other reason.