Getting old sucks!

It's a truism that getting old sucks. The problem is that the only alternative to aging doesn't seem that attractive to me.

Yes, I know, it's been a year and a half since I updated this blog. I'm still taking ballet classes. Two years ago I was taking as many as four classes a week. But that was causing an increasing number of issues like tendonitis, so I backed down to two classes a week. For quite a while that seemed like a sustainable number.

Then, in early February of this year, I went to do a simple grand plié during barre. Something felt off. At the bottom of the plié it felt like I had something soft behind my knee, like a pillow, that was preventing it from bending as much as it usually did. There was no noticeable swelling and it didn't hurt, but it limited the depth of my plié in both first and fifth. I figured I might have not gotten enough warm-up before class or something. It didn't seem to affect me other than in class.

Easing back in

Last Friday I was happy to have made it to class, but ended up leaving during adagio. I did take the weekend off, with full intent of going to class Monday.

Monday I tried to go to the noon Advanced Beginner class. I really did try. I hit the road at my normal time (about 11am). As I turned onto the highway entrance ramp I saw nothing but stopped cars on both the entrance ramp and the highway. Google Maps said there was a 5 minute delay. Ten minutes into the 5 minute delay I'd managed to travel about 50 yards on the entrance ramp and hadn't even reached the highway yet.

Back from the dead

After being absent from classes for over three weeks, I made it to class today. Several people commented on how long it had been since they'd seen me, and there was some good-natured ribbing about whether I was lost and wandered in by accident.

I hadn't been in this instructor's classes for even longer, sacrificed in the hope of speeding the recovery of my ankle/foot issues. She offered several valid and helpful corrections, but I was having enough trouble with balance and muscle cramps that I wasn't able to absorb many of them. After barre I approached her and explained that I'd been sick, and although I was much better I probably wouldn't make it as far as petit allegro today.

Acupuncture and Pirouettes

Somehow it's been almost ten weeks since I updated this blog. 

After consulting some pain management specialists and researching on the 'net, I've come to the conclusion that there are at least two causes of tendinitis. One is a weakness in the tendon and/or attachment, for which strengthening exercises are an appropriate treatment. Another is excessive tightness in the muscles attaching to the tendons which causes excessive strain on the tendons when the joint flexes.

Injuries from long ago

I suffer from Engineer's Brain (look it up). This means I automatically analyze everything in great detail -- picture the Terminator in the original movie figuring out how to drive a truck. This helped greatly in my career as a software engineer, but it's not something that gets turned on and off. This accounts for my (muffled) snarky response when my ballet instructors tell the class, "That was really good" -- I've already identified a half dozen things I've done wrong, and don't get me started on what I saw others doing.

Caught in the Annual Migration

When I walked into the studio for class Friday, I was shocked to find 30 other students when there are usually maybe 15. Five of them were men, which is the most I've ever seen in any of my classes. Many had skills far above the norm for the classes I take, executing double, triple, and even quadruple pirouettes as part of centre exercises.

I asked one of the other class regulars if he knew what was happening he replied, "It's the annual migration."

Asking for it

After having a brief moment of success with double pirouettes,  I had several weeks of difficulty landing clean singles. Each time I've fallen backwards out of the turn, a problem that gets worse as I tire. But I may have figured out the problem.

Just prior to my successes, the instructor had made a general observation that some weren't getting our working foot all the way up to the standing leg's knee, and we'd do better if we did. I think one of the things this did for me was cause me to get higher on my standing foot too. This causes a tiny weight shift forward, which appears to be just enough to make me balanced in the turn.

I've started making an effort to really get up on my standing foot during turns. I'm still not doing double pirouettes, but my singles are getting cleaner. I've also gotten some corrections on my spotting technique, which are helping too.

---

Speaking of corrections... The consequence of asking my instructors not to hold back is that I'm now getting a lot more corrections. This is good for me, but it's hard on the ego.

Last week one of the other instructors got in on the act. It's pretty common for off-duty instructors to take classes they're not teaching -- it's a job perquisite for them. We were doing a centre exercise that included a sissonne from fifth to first arabesque, and this instructor happened to be standing just to my right and a bit behind me. At the end of the exercise I heard her say "No, don't do that." I didn't know who she was speaking to or about, so I turned to see. She looked at me, rolled her shoulders, and said, "Don't raise your shoulders when you jump."

At first I didn't understand what she meant, so my first reaction was to try to understand what she was saying. I didn't realize I was raising my shoulders during the jump, which is why we need corrections from instructors. My second reaction was a bit of annoyance: I felt blind-sided, as this was not someone I'd asked for corrections from. It can be hard enough to be told you're doing something wrong by the class instructor.  Then I realized that her suggestion was offered in good faith, and it would be to my benefit to take advantage of whatever help is offered. 

It's tough on the ego to get corrections. No one likes being told they're doing something wrong, even when it's true. Sometimes it feels unfair, like when I get a correction regarding arm position while I'm focused on remembering where my feet are supposed to be going. My recent experience of being on stage with professional dancers has left me with a touch of imposter syndrome, so I'm a bit more sensitive than usual. Then I remind myself that instructors generally do not offer corrections to students who do not make use of them, and I feel a little better.

Double pirouettes

 Since returning to the ballet studios last summer I've been taking as many as 4 classes a week from three or four different instructors. Each instructor has their own specific thing they seem to focus on: one can spot a bent knee under sweatpants from across the room; another is laser-focused on core alignment, etc. Between them, I get lots of good corrections. Some of them seemingly tiny, but never without good reason.

Mid fall I started to notice a significant improvement in my balance, likely related to how often I'm taking classes now. On rare occasions I found I could sustain passe releve seemingly indefinitely. Then "rarely" became "occasionally", and then more frequently. This paid off in more consistent pirouettes. Although some of my classmates seem to prefer sloppy double pirouettes, I've been concentrating on clean singles (with varying success).

Last week, while marking a centre routine that included a pirouette en dedans, I found myself over-rotating. Just for fun, I decided to see how far around I'd get. To my surprise, I completed a fairly decent double. I'd never even attempted a double pirouette en dedans before, let alone completed one.

Monday, before we started the pirouette combination, I decided to try a double pirouette en dehors. I tried four or five and landed most of them, which really surprised me. After class the instructor commented that she'd noticed them and thought they were a good start. :-)

Of course, Wednesday I had trouble landing clean singles, let alone attempt a double. *sigh*

Something unexpected

I've often said that adult ballet students fall into one of two categories: those who are looking to improve, and those who just want to dance. I'm definitely in the first category, and I make sure to let my instructors know that I'm here for the corrections.

After receiving some subtle tweaks in body positioning during barre, I found myself having a good balance day. Later, during a centre exercise involving a mixture of pirouettes, I realized I was putting too much energy into the turns and that was causing me to rotate further than the single turn called for. Just for fun, I let an en dedans turn continue and landed a fairly clean double. I've never even tried a double en dedans pirouette before!

Naturally, I couldn't do it a second time. Trying it on the other side didn't work either, nor did attempts at double en dehor pirouettes. But, as one of my instructors observed, the first time something like this happens it's a miracle. But then the miracle happens again. And then it happens more frequently. Eventually it becomes something you try to perfect, rather than it being a miracle.

The Audition

Today, I auditioned for a supporting role in a ballet production of Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream".

I haven't auditioned for any sort of theatrical production in over 40 years, and never one that involved dancing. It's an odd feeling. In class, the instructor is watching to provide corrections. In an audition, you're being evaluated for suitability for a performance; basically a job interview.

Injured!

For the last couple of months I've been taking three and sometimes four ballet classes every week, aside from holiday interruptions. I've been doing pretty well, with satisfying but irregular progress. Until a couple of weeks ago.

I'd come home from my Wednesday class, eaten dinner, and was relaxing in my recliner chair while watching TV. Suddenly there was a snap and a momentary stab of pain near my right hip. Not in the joint itself, but in the upper front of the lilac crest (hip bone)

Fearing I'd done something really bad, I eased myself out of the chair and carefully checked that I could support my weight on that hip without instability or serious pain. Then I gently checked range of motion. Finally I took a few steps. Nothing really hurt, but the area was sore, like I'd strained a muscle.

Courtesy Wikimedia

Although as a former EMT I'm pretty familiar with skeletal bones, I'm not an expert on muscles. Fortunately I know someone who is, and she suggested I might have strained the tensor  fascia latae (see pic). That seems to attach in the spot that hurt, as does sartorius.

Frankly, I find it pretty embarrassing to have injured myself relaxing in a recliner. 

I read some informative articles on such injuries, which all recommended starting with rest, ice (or heat, depending), and an anti-inflammatory (NSAID). I canceled my next scheduled class reservation, giving myself three full days off, and took care not to do anything that might worsen the situation. It was a bit sore when I walked for the first day or two, but that seemed to subside by the third day.

Four days after this event I went to my regular Sunday class, ready to stop if anything felt wrong. I was careful to warm up gently and slowly before class, and the class itself was uneventful. There was a bit of lingering soreness in that hip, but nothing unusual.

My next scheduled class was the following day, Monday. I notified the instructor of the situation (saying this was "don't pick on Reece day") and warning her that I might need to quit class unexpectedly. She, of course, told me to do what I needed to do to take care of myself. Pre-class warm-up seemed fine, but about half way through barre the side of my hip began to ache. I picked up my stuff, and with a bow to the instructor I left. The ache went away, and I decided my hip just wasn't ready yet.

Two days later I gave it another try. Again, I warned the instructor that I might have to leave, but this time I felt fine. The same on Friday, and again Sunday. Ah! I'm healed!

Nope! Monday came and I got through the first exercise in centre before I started feeling sore in the hip. Seeing no benefit to pressing my luck, I bailed out of class again. However, I felt file after the following Wednesday and Friday classes. From this I concluded that I needed the day off between classes.

This weekend I had something else to do on Sunday (yesterday), so I wasn't registered for class. I thought about going to class Saturday, but decided against it. So after two days off I was back in class today. Aside from being out of breath after the petit allegro exercise, I really had no problems with class. I felt really on balance during pirouettes, completing three single turns en dehor in rapid succession, though I was getting a bit sloppy toward the end. 

As much as I enjoy the Sunday class, I think other activities will keep me out of it for a while, and I'll probably skip the Saturday classes until my hip is fully recovered.

Seamus Finnigan is my avatar

Seamus blows up a feather

 

Everyone knows who Seamus Finnigan is: he's the Griffyndor wizard who has a propensity for having his spells randomly explode, usually leaving him singed and soot-covered.

Allow me to explain.

Righty Loosey

The old saying about screws is "Righty Tighty; Lefty Loosey". This does not apply when it comes to my legs, though.

Sunday, I was thinking I should thank the instructor for giving me a key correction for fixing my turns, but I decided to wait until after class to see how well I did. This is the slowest class I take, and I have time during barre to really focus on getting all the details right (or as right as I can manage). The problem is that this sometimes leaves me rather tired, and this affects me in centre. Compounding this, I ate leftovers from dinner as breakfast, rather than something that has simple carbohydrates. The turns segment in centre was a mix of passé relevés and pirouettes, and I didn't do all that well. I was just too tired by that point. Oh well, there's always next week.

I'm trying to get to class more often, so I bought the 1-month pass rather than my usual 10-class card. This is fractionally cheaper if I take 12 classes a month — roughly three classes a week — and gets better if I take more. Now that my schedule allows me to take daytime classes too, I've been taking Floor Barre® class Monday mornings, followed by the Advanced Beginner class that used to be mid-day Wednesday. Adding in a weekend (Sunday) class brings me to three a week, plus I've been dropping into the occasional Thursday night Beginner 2.75 class.

Taking Floor Barre not only helps practice proper positions without fighting gravity and balance, it gives me a chance to warm up slowly before the Advanced Beginner class. However, I still need to conserve energy during the AB barre. Today we had an interesting centre exercise that included several pirouette turns. I found that those standing on my left leg were pretty good, but turning on my right leg was wobbly. Toward the end of the exercise I made specific effort to get that leg fully straight and that did a lot toward making them more stable.

We also did a piqué turn exercise. Again, one side is better than the other. But I can work on that.

Little, incremental changes.

Less is more

I've taken two classes since I was told I was putting too much energy into my pirouettes.  You know what? She was right. Funny, that.

Not that I ever really doubted her. The question in my mind was more one of how to implement her suggestion. I started by just practicing the motion of rising from a plié to passé relevé with no rotation, with the goal of getting as upright as I could, and balancing there as long as I could. Then I added just a hint of rotational energy. It works for both en dehor and en dedans turns. The turn isn't rapid, but it's fast enough for class and it's stable.

No place to hide

I've received emails from the studio advertising open job positions, and I've noticed some new faces popping up recently. When I arrived the check in before class today, the person behind the desk was someone I'm used to seeing in the halls preparing to take a class. Apparently she's been hired; congrats to her on the new job!

I don't believe we've ever been in the same class -- she's much more advanced than I am -- and I don't know her name. But as I walked up to the desk she immediately greeted me with a cheery "Hi Reece! I'll check you in."

I'm sure the folk at the desk have a list of those registered for the day's classes in front of them. And it's welcoming to be greeted by name. But it's also a bit spooky to be recognized that quickly. As a man in a ballet studio, there simply isn't a crowd I can blend into, even while wearing a hat and a surgical mask.

Turning like a rusty nut

After a break for the US Labor Day holidays, I was able to schedule a session with Jacob to work on my turns. 

In the interim I'd recovered a bit of confidence in several variations of pirouette, but it as if I'd developed a complete mental block on pirouettes en dedans to the right. The first one I attempted during my session with Jacob felt as if I'd never done one before After a bit of work I managed one or two weak turns, but nothing like I'd been doing only a few weeks before. 

Near the end of the session, he asked if there was anything else I wanted to work on, and I suggested pique turns. I had no real trouble turning to the left, but could barely do one to the right. As if a light bulb suddenly turned on, it occurred to me that a pique turn is very similar to a pirouette en dedans, with the working foot in a different position. Jacob suggested working through the motion without the rotation, which isolated the problem: I'm having trouble rising to demi-pointe on my right leg. We spent the rest of the session working on this.

I'm still wobbly on my right leg, but I have something to work on.

Are you talking to me?

A couple of weeks ago, I learned that one of my favorite instructor's Wednesday mid-day Advanced Beginner class was being moved to Monday. I've been taking this class for some months and feel fairly comfortable in it. I'm not the best in the class, but neither am I the worst.

Another of my favorite instructors will be taking over the Wednesday mid-day slot in September, also teaching an Advanced Beginner class, and I mentioned to her that I was looking forward to taking her class Wednesdays. To my surprise she told me I wasn't ready for Advanced Beginner, and she'd "let me know" when I was ready. I was really taken aback by this.

[Edit: The instructor and I may have miscommunicated here. See this post for clarification.]

The En Dedans Blues

Yup, my en dedans pirouettes to the right are definitely broken. I tried one before class today and sort-of wobbled through it, but later it didn't work right at all. *sigh* On the other hand, my en dehors are still clean, so it's not a catastrophe.

One of the things I like about this instructor is she now includes piqué turns practice. The first time I tried this a week or two, I found myself way off balance. I had them on my list of things to fix the next time I get a private lesson, but I tried fixing them myself today.

One of my instructors had suggested to another student that she bring her shoulders forward by "reducing the space between your ribs" (more properly, sternum) and your pubic bone. Thinking to myself that I always found myself falling backward when I attempted a tour en l'air (literally, a "turn in the air" — a jump straight up combined with a full turn), and that my fix for pirouettes had involved a similar shift forward, I decided to apply this to my piqué turns. 

This seems to have worked! I don't think I've ever done a long series of piqué turns as cleanly, and certainly not as fast (this class is nominally "Advanced Beginner"). I also had more luck with my spotting, and felt less dizzy afterward.

---

One of the rather fun aspects of taking classes at a school with a robust pre-professional track is when one of these "kids" drops into the adult classes. Today, one of this year's graduates joined our class. While I was feeling rather proud of a fairly clean single pirouette en dehor, this young woman standing next to me was doing gorgeous triples. This summer she was hired into a ballet company and soon will be starting her professional dance career in Atlanta. My best wishes to her!

Has it really been six months?

After some gaps due to spikes in the pandemic, I've settled into a regular routine of two to three classes a week. My school's records say I've taken almost 50 classes thus far this calendar year.

Like many who have taken up ballet as adults, the instruction I've received has been anything but well-structured. Adult ballet classes often include students ranging from years of dancing to those with no experience at all. If an instructor spends too much time teaching basic steps to the newbies, the more experienced students will get bored and stop attending. So the newbies generally learn by jumping in and hoping desperately that they can figure it out.

The skill levels of the instructors also vary. I learned the basics back in the mid 1980s, and I have no idea what our instructor's qualifications were. When I returned to ballet in 2011 (11 years ago? gulp!) our instructor had just graduated from university with a degree in dance education, but her primary dance style was not ballet (I discovered she was clueless about pointe work when one of the students showed up with a pair that fortunately didn't fit). The result of this is that I feel like I got short-changed on many of the fundamentals.

My current instructors are top-notch, and do their best to address the shortcomings in my training. I've made it clear to all of them that I want whatever corrections they can give, but there's only so much they can do in the context of a class with 20 other students. To address this, I made inquiries about getting some individual instruction. While supportive of my interest, no one at my current school has time in their schedules for private lessons. Finally, I arranged to take some classes with a retired professional dancer who also manages a different ballet school.

One of my problem areas is petit allegro. In the normal sequence of a ballet class this comes near the end, just before grand allegro. By this point I'm usually tired and mentally overloaded, which is not the ideal time to be learning something physical. So for my first private lesson I asked to concentrate on glissades, petit jetés, and other small jumps. It was exhausting but I think it helped, especially with linking phrases together without the mental hard-stop between phrases I'd found myself doing.

Another of my problems has been turns. I've been fighting with some postural issues I blame on spending 40 years sitting at a desk, slaving over a hot keyboard. This, I believe, has been causing me to stand with a posterior pelvic tilt, which throws off my balance. A classmate friend recommended her chiropractor, whose practice has included some big-name ballet dancers. He's done an amazing job in a very short time, though there has been some vile cursing of his lineage involved.

The thing is, when one part of your posture is wrong, other parts of your body compensates. Fixing one problem means the compensations have to be unlearned, and for several weeks my attempts at pirouettes and other turns were inconsistent, to say the least. My second private lesson added some work on pirouettes en dehors which helped somewhat.

 A couple of weeks ago, one of my instructors commented that I was holding my arms too close to my body in first, especially in my turns. Correcting this also brought my upper body a tiny bit further forward. Suddenly, unexpectedly, my pirouette problems seemed to go away. For several classes in a row, I was as balanced at the end of a turn as I was at the beginning. Left or right, en dedans or en dehors, from fourth or fifth, landing in fourth or fifth, it didn't matter. I even managed a slightly sloppy double before class today, marred mostly by not spotting very well.

Yay?

Then came the turns combination part of today's class. Somehow, during the pirouette en dedans to the right (clockwise), my left foot got caught on my right calf as I brought it up to retiré, and I nearly fell on my face. I can't remember the last time I tripped over my own feet. The other three turns were clean. What happened? I figured it was a fluke.

We repeated the combination, and to my shock I did it again, on the same turn, though I caught myself earlier. Again, the other three turns (both en dehor, and the en dedans to the left) were clean. Great, I've broken my one of my turns again.

Onward to the petit allegro combination! Today was the "real" Beginner II class, so the combinations were relatively simple: glissade, petit jeté, coupé, temps levé, pas de bourée, glissade, assemblé, échappé and back to fifth, and rest. Then repeat the other way. Before I started working on linking phrases I would often get stuck part way through, often with my weight on the foot I needed to move next. Today, though, I got all the way through fairly cleanly. I recognized points where I could greatly improve, but I'm definitely happy with my progress.

Fixing my turns

One of the things I've been struggling with is inconsistent turns. When I'm fresh I can do clean pirouettes in either direction, on either leg. As I tire my turns get sloppy, with turns standing on my right leg almost feeling as if my leg was collapsing under me. I've been struggling to understand exactly what is it I'm doing wrong and not having much success.