Saturday, September 19, 2015

Doubt and Reassurance

Thursday night's Advanced Beginner class left me questioning my motivations. Why do I go to classes that leave me feeling awkward and frustrated? The instructor has been giving me small compliments at the barre, and I can see tiny improvements here and there. I seem to be struggling less than some others. But in center I got put in a group with two other men who are semi-pro (I think). Just shy of 9pm, at the end of a long work day, I'm having trouble keeping the sequence straight and my assembl├ęs are sloppy; they're springing high in the air and adding clean beats. So what's the point? I'm never going to be able to do anything with this.

Today (Saturday) I went to the Beginner II class. I haven't been to this class for a while, but the scheduling worked out better than catching a class tomorrow. This is the class I've called B2.75 because it's a lot harder than the Sunday B2 class, and not that much easier than the AB classes. Something weird happened at the end of center. The last combination seemed too complex for me to wrap my head around at first and I planned to sit it out. But as I watched the class mark it I realized that it wasn't really that hard. When it was time for my group to go the girls seemed very unsure and I kept running into them, so I moved to an open area and ignored them. I made a couple mistakes but on the whole it went quite well.

This still isn't going anywhere. But maybe that's not that bad.

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